Hallo Weibchen,

Today's topic is relationships. Specifically the American male/female relationship. Apparently the water has become murky on this topic lately and as an American I don't whine about problems I fix them. Now I know what you're thinking this is going to be awesome. And you're right, see loser you're starting to get it.

Now I am married to an awesome woman. As many of you know I married Judy after one date, a lunch date to be exact. If you're not awesome don't try that. Now Mrs. Miller was not made awesome by me. She was already a bad-ass chick. So let me tell you what makes her awesome. Me not acting like a little pussy. Turns out chicks hate that. Also she tells me what she wants because I listen. Everything you need to know about a woman is easy just fucking ask them. If they trust you they will tell you. If you can't be trusted stop reading my blog you fuck!! Go back to your sissy country, yes Spain I'm talking about you you're the new France!! That is not to say you won't get that one that likes to be cryptic. You will know her when you meet her. She will say stuff like." You should know what I want," or," you shouldn't have to ask you should know." Gentlemen if you meet that bitch break contact, run the fuck away. No 2^nd chances she will not change. Don't waste your time. If I wanted a puzzle I would have bought one! (Yes an actual quote I told a bitch) Cool chicks don't want a guy that will bend to their will; they want the fucking bad ass American male that kicks ass. Pussies need not apply! If you're a whiney bitch how are you going to dominate that vagina? You're not the v-jay jay will control you. Fuck that shit turn in your citizenship and get the fuck out, I hear Canada is nice. For example I was dating a lady we will call her "Jennifer" obviously a cool chick cause she was with me. This one time a gas station attendant in Newport Beach was mean to her. She was very upset and called me to vent about this asshole. Something about how women from his country didn't talk to men like that, some hajji bullshit. I went to the gas station to kick this pussy Taliban/Al Qaeda ass, cause that's what Americans do we kick ass. He refused to come out of the station. So I activated the gas stations emergency fuel cut-off switch. He was so fucked. Huge gas station jam packed with customers. When rich people can't fill up there massive SUV's they get pissed. Police were called. I got away, the fuzz couldn't catch me. ha ha fuck you NBPD eat less you fat asses. Jennifer found out what I did she called me an idiot and a crazy told me how wrong that was but later during the intimate times I could see how appreciative she was, now that is some Deeds not Words shit there. Awesome I know but it's my life.

Now it is not all basassery on the guys' part. Listen up ladies! Don't be a puzzle. Fucking guys don't like that shit. Tell a guy what you want not what you think he wants to hear. If he is an awesome guy you won't scare him off because awesome guys aren't scared of lame shit. If he is not an awesome guy then he will piss off. And damn it ladies don't let guys that are not awesome bang you. Because then they go around thinking they are awesome. Then awesome guys like me have to fuck up their faces. It is just not fair to the pussies of our society. Besides how good do you think the banging is going to be? Dogshit. Just quit ladies, join a softball team and hook up with a bull dyke. Guess what you are still going to have to tell your girlfriend what you honestly want so bam now you have the same problem. News flash ladies if you tell guys stupid shit don't be surprised when you become the cat lady.

So moral of the story be honest, don't be a pussy, don't bang not awesome people and for the love of everything you hold dear people if someone awesome like me is in your life don't tell them you appreciate them show them. Personally I like to be thanked with a great blow job. Your welcome America.

Shad fing rach